For several months, I’ve been feeling a desire to shift from my current career as a group hypnotherapist… to something that feels more aligned with my passions, such as teaching A Course in Miracles.  Now, I realize that there is nothing inherently more “spiritual” about formally teaching the Course to others than there is in any other career.  I realize that the source of my discontent in my current career has nothing to do with the career itself, but only with my mind’s belief in separation.  The only “career” that can truly make me happy is that of being a “professional forgiver”… and this of course can be practiced just as equally in a career as a hypnotherapist (or any other career for that matter) as it can teaching forgiveness.

So yes, yes, yes… all of that is true, but…

Well, I just can’t seem to shake this desire to teach the Course to others, or at least something more closely aligned with forgiveness principles.  Hypnotherapy is great – at least it has healing as its overt purpose – but I’m getting tired of just helping people stop smoking and lose weight.  I feel that I’d enjoy working with people in a wider context than that of simply helping them modify their behavior.

I think the biggest problem is that every time I start getting motivated to create a new career, my deceptive little ego will jump in masquerading as the Holy Spirit and say, “Yes, but you must not believe there is no hierarchy of illusions, otherwise you’d just stay with your current career.”  This always makes me have to stop and think.  Because I know that has some merit to it, but then again, it’s not necessarily true nor helpful.  Obviously I still believe in a hierarchy of illusions, or I wouldn’t be here!  But that doesn’t mean I can’t use magic solutions such as changing my career to be happier.

So finally, I decided to stop taking that thought seriously, and I’ve decided to just surrender to my desire for a career change.  I’ve spent about the last six months practicing forgiveness on my discontents as a travelling hypnotherapist (and just did so again) so in this moment I feel quite peaceful about the direction my career will take, either way.  I honestly don’t know whether I’ll continue being a group hypnotherapist for several more years or not, but it’s becoming clearer to me that the problem I seem to be having is just a smokescreen set up by my ego.  It’s preventing me from looking at the problem of my belief in separation, and that, of course, is the only problem I need to concern myself with.   And since the resolution of that problem is the only thing that can bring me real happiness, I can be equally happy in any career as in any other.

But that said, it seems highly unlikely to me that I won’t venture off into some new ways of expressing myself in this world, as long as I appear to be a body. Besides, I sense that there are other careers that would challenge my forgiveness-applying skills much more than they’d be challenged if I stayed with what I’m doing now. Obviously, that’s not for me to judge, but it feels good to look forward to new, challenging forgiveness opportunities that will allow me to undo more unconscious guilt and thus experience more of the Love of God within.

For now though, my primary forgiveness lesson is in not judging myself for doing little to nothing with my life for the time being.  I’ve decided to stop setting up new hypnotherapy seminars for a little while, and simply be a stay-at-home monk for a few weeks.  I have enough money saved up to pay the bills for at least a couple months, so I’m feeling relatively okay with just sitting around like a bum all day reading my Course books and meditating!  When I remember the truth that this is just a dream I’m watching called “Life of Erik”, then I feel completely okay.

My ego jumps in every so often and tells me how afraid I should be of the future, that I might end up never going back to work, and having to default on all my debt, blah, blah, blah… but I’m grateful to have learned what a illusory trickster the ego is.  All of my egoic concerns are meaningless – even when they seem VERY serious – and I’m learning from this phase of my life how to simply be still and do nothing else.  It is requiring me to really examine with the Holy Spirit all my old beliefs about “responsibility”, “making money”, “being successful”, “living a full life”, etc..

I’ll end this post on this one thought that came to me a few weeks ago, which brought me more peace around this issue than any other insight I’d had before.  I was sitting on my coach vacillating between very peaceful meditation and very UNpeaceful worries about what to do career-wise to make more money to pay the bills with… when I had these insights:

The only job I need to fulfill in order to ensure my continued Abundance and Prosperity is the “work” of forgiveness.  My Abundance is a direct result of my forgiveness work.  Forgiveness is therefore the only job and career I need to stay engaged in.  If I focus only on that, I will always receive complete Abundance, lacking in nothing I need.  Nothing but forgiveness is required of me.   I need do nothing else.  Forgiveness is, and always will be, my only responsibility.

Ahhhh… what a relief!